Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Anna and the French Kiss

Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta, where she has a great job, a loyal best friend, and a crush on the verge of becoming more. Which is why she is less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in Paris--until she meets Étienne St. Clair. Smart, charming, beautiful, Étienne has it all...including a serious girlfriend. But in the City of Li...

Title:Anna and the French Kiss
Author:
Rating:
ISBN:0525423273
Edition Language:English
Format Type:Hardcover
Number of Pages:372 pages

Anna and the French Kiss Reviews

  • Nina ♥
    Dec 17, 2010

    I found this online...NOW WHY COULDN'T THIS BE THE ACTUAL COVER?

    St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. ST. CLAIR!!!!

    Can’t I just fill this review with his name instead of explaining how much I effing LOVED this book and trying to describe in vivid detail how beautiful and amazing and gorgeous and sexy and adorable and

    I found this online...NOW WHY COULDN'T THIS BE THE ACTUAL COVER?

    St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. St. Clair. ST. CLAIR!!!!

    Can’t I just fill this review with his name instead of explaining how much I effing LOVED this book and trying to describe in vivid detail how beautiful and amazing and gorgeous and sexy and adorable and cute and sweet and perfect and totally smoking HAWT St. Clair is?

    Asdfghjkl <--- this is me being speechless. I just…I loved, loved, LOVED this book. I’m positively utterly, totally, absolutely completely, undeniably IN LOVE with this book. Just thinking about it makes me giddy. Seriously. It makes me wonder “why don’t

    parents send me to France?! I want to find my own Etienne, dammit!” Sigh. Just thinking his name makes me swoon.

    Okay, I’m probably acting like an annoying fangirl right now, but can you

    me?! I’ll try to keep this review short, before I go into complete fangirl mode (which scares even me).

    I loved the characters. Every single one of them. They weren’t there just to paint the background, they all had depth and each a different personality.

    Anna was an awesome MC. She was so amusing and comical, even when she was angry; you kind of want to annoy her just to see her reaction. She has a wonderful dad (who cares if he’d a dick? He sent her to freaking PARIS. And he meant WELL) who sends her to School of America in Paris (SOAP), which is a boarding school. There, she meets a couple of students—Meredith, Josh, Rashmi, aaaaaand St. Clair *swoon*—who immediately befriend her. Unfortunately—or fortunately—she starts having feelings toward the totally gorgeous, off-limits Etienne St. Clair (okay, I’ve learned to say his name without completely hyperventilating, that’s

    ). Not only does he have a serious girlfriend, but Meredith—the one who immediately befriended Anna and was kind and helpful to her from the beginning is also crushing on St. Clair. I totally get Anna. I mean, DUDE, HE HAS A BRTISH ACCENT. And he speaks French! That alone should make you fall in love with him within the first five minutes of meeting him. If only he were real. *le sigh* I would positively run to Paris, find him, snatch him away from Anna, grab his hand and run like hell. Which is sort of kidnapping and illegal, but WHO CARES? I mean, he’s

    . Totally understandable. *pout* BUT HE’S NOT REAL. *BAWLS*

    Gah, he’s just so perfect in this totally realistic way. And so sweet (did I already say that?). His love for his mother and friends makes me love him more.

    I need to stop. I’m already feeling light-headed and woozy from thinking about it. Don’t worry, normal symptom after reading this book. So, yeah. Read it, if you haven’t already. Don’t let the blurb fool you, it might sound cliché, but there is NOTHING cliché about this book. It unique and one of the best books I’ve ever read.

    Sigh. Gosh. I better stop or I’ll start blabbering “Anna! France! French kissssssss! Paris! St. Clair! St. Clair! St. Clair! St. Clair! I LOVE YOUUUUU!”

    *patting myself on the back for having so much self-control*

    I hope the companion novel is just as good as this. Please make it good, Mrs. Stephanie Perkins. I will forever be your slave.

    Oh, and I have a sneaking suspicious that the third book will be about Isla Martin and Josh.

    BTW, this is my version of St. Clair:

    ISN'T HE YUMMY???

    "I love you as certain dark things are loved,

    in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

  • Cory
    Aug 04, 2011

    The best thing about this book? The end.

    I don't read chick-lit. In fact, I avoid it like the plague. But this book received rave reviews from every single person on my friendlist. So I thought, hey, why not? Maybe this won't be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade. Maybe Anna will be smart and witty. And maybe Etienne will be awesome.

    I'm too

    The best thing about this book? The end.

    I don't read chick-lit. In fact, I avoid it like the plague. But this book received rave reviews from every single person on my friendlist. So I thought, hey, why not? Maybe this won't be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade. Maybe Anna will be smart and witty. And maybe Etienne will be awesome.

    I'm too optimistic.

    Like The Duff, this book suffers from wish fulfillment:

    Please don't tell me this book is realistic. I beg to differ. It's a fantasy. And there's nothing wrong with that, except when the protagonist is a self righteous, hypocritical bitch.

    I've never been able to relate to rich annoying white girls, which is rather strange, considering that 40% of my K-12 experience was spent with them. I can relate to wizards, dragon riders, and thieves, but not this special brand of Mary Sue. She's a combination of a Relationship Sue, a Black Hole Sue, and she's something of an Anti-Sue.

    Anna also has an extreme case of dickmatization. I love that word. If you're reading, thank you for introducing it to me Princess.

    If we take Anna out of the equation, this could be a decent book. But as it stands, I can't bother to care about her petty melodramatic woes. Don't get me wrong, the supporting cast wasn't bad, though they were carbon copies of every single cast from every other teen romantic comedy. The author takes potshots at Nicholas Sparks for using cancer as a plot device, but she does the same thing. If anything, at least Sparks is a little original. He uses a different disease every single time. It seems like Perkins watched a few Disney specials and decided to write a book staring

    ,

    ,

    , a quirky original heroine. And, judging by the positive reviews, she succeeded. Well, if Stephenie Meyer doesn't get you, Stephanie Perkins will.

    Anna is kind of like Miles Halter, from Looking for Alaska. But Miles actually fits in with his group. Anna is like a fanfiction writer's brilliant, but failed attempt, at creating an OC. She attracts the attention of almost all the guys in the book, sans three -- her brother, her ex boyfriend, and Josh, the boyfriend of her "friend". She's beautiful and her arch-enemy is the evil, "slutty", rat faced Amanda. She's a complete rip-off of Lauren from, How to Be Popular.

    And, coincidentally, Anna attracts the attention of Etienne St. Clair, the hottest guy in school. When he walks past, girls gape. Right. This is me rolling my eyes. But wait, Etienne has a girlfriend: Ellie. Yup, Ellie is our contrived bullshit roadblock, the reason why our two fated lovers cannot be together.

    I'd like to write a bit about conflict. If your hero has a bitchy girlfriend and your MC is "supposedly" nice, he looks like an idiot when he stays with that girlfriend. For a love triangle to work, there must be a valid reason as to why the girl or guy is caught in the middle of two people. Demeaning one of the love interests is not only low, but it makes me think you were too afraid to write a real relationship that didn't revolve around cliches and tropes.

    It's rather humorous that every girl Anna dislikes is evil and every guy she dislikes is either dirty, or a dick. Yet her friends and "true love" St. Clair himself, are clean, attractive, and ever so intelligent. This is bullshit.

    If this were a play, I'd call it Anna and the French Dick.

    Let's get acquainted with the rest of our cast.

    Ellie: St. Clair's girlfriend. She's plain and doesn't appreciate her friends which is why Anna is better than her.

    Bridgette: She's Anna's bestfriend. She also "steals" Anna's "boyfriend".

    Amanda: Blonde. Bitchy. Catty. "Slutty". Give me a fucking break.

    Meredith: Sporty, smart, in love with St. Clair. Amanda calls her a dyke. I hated Anna for using her and abusing their friendship. Heads up. Do not abandon your friends for a guy. Especially when you know that your friend likes that guy. You are a bitch if you don't have the guts to talk to her and explain that the guy likes you, not her. Hmm... sounds like Anna's beef with Bridgette. Moving on.

    Anna: Judgmental. Hypocritical. Self righteous. Brunette. Yeah. She basically shits on everyone who doesn't agree with her, or who stands in the way of St. Clair's dick. Her quirk? She knows a lot of shit about old movies. It was contrived and I didn't get half of the movies she namedropped. John Green, you do it better.

    Josh: A mouthpiece for how awesome St. Clair is. According to him, when you flirt with two girls, even if you have a girlfriend, you're not leading them on.

    Etienne St. Clair: Resident Marty Stu. His mother is dying from cancer. His father is evil. Every guy in school wants to be him. Every girl wants to date him. Every guy he doesn't like is evil. And he's the most attractive guy in the world. Even the way he chews gives Anna an orgasm. It's pathetic. His only flaw? He's too much of a coward to dump his girlfriend. But, honestly, that's only for the convenience of the plot. Take Anna out of the picture, and I might have liked St. Clair if the author didn't use Josh as a mouthpiece for how awesome he is.

    David: A dick. He liked Anna.

    Toph: A dick. He liked Anna.

    Matt: Anna's ex. He's a slob.

    Rashmi: Our token PoC. She has no relevance to the plot other than to be our shipper on deck. In another story, I would've liked her. In this book, she's only there to make Anna feel better than Ellie.

    Not only does Perkins fail to wrap up Anna's conflict with her parents -- something even Kody Keplinger, who's debut was like a mash-up of All American Girl and Perfect You, managed to do -- but she also delivered two very special messages in the last fifty pages. We get some bullshit "slut shaming is wrong" message, though Anna spent 300pgs whining about how unfair her life was when Ellie, that plain girl, was sleeping with St. Clair, and in the first 50pgs, she made a remark about Amanda's cleavage. Then we get two paragraphs of "gay is okay". I know that making fun of gay people is wrong. And I know that slut shaming is wrong. I don't need you, Perkins, to step on your soapbox and convince me that Anna is a beautiful PC person like PC Cast does with Zoey Redbird.

    Never again will I fall prey to the hype. Granted, this is romantic fluff, but that's no excuse. The writing was decent, but give me Sara Zarr, Sarah Dessen, or Elizabeth Scott over Stephanie Perkins. Hell, I'd rather read the entire Twilight Saga than read this again.

    In case you couldn't tell, I didn't like this book. 1.5 stars.

    12/4/11

    V. Arrow (aimmyarrowshigh)

    Apparently, I don't know how to write a valid criticism of a contemporary romance.

    If you have never taken a class on media criticism -- and I'd venture that you haven't -- the first rule of critique is that you should judge within the same genre and for its intent and purpose. The genre of this book is YA contemp romance. Does it fulfill a romantic plotline without straying into age-inappropriate issues? Yes. It fulfills the genre criteria. The main audience of YA contemp romance: middle-class and upper-middle class English-speaking girls between 14-54.

    Does this book cohesively create a fictional construct that would reflect and be recognizable in their world? Yes. There is nothing wrong with a book about "first world problems" when the purpose and intent of the book is to be a romance for teenagers. Insofar as actual criticism, Anna and the French Kiss is tantamount to being a perfect example of its genre and fulfilling the purpose for its audience.

    So again the question begs: if you knew you would not like it, and did not know how to adequately and maturely review it after choosing to read something you were predisposed to disliking, why bother?

    I write contemporary romance. I write romcoms. I think I know a little about the common tropes found in the genre. I've read almost every popular romcom script and written lengthy reviews for several popular bromances. I was actually going to major in Film before I realized my university only offered media arts, at which point I decided to choose Architecture. I'd wager that V. needs to do a little bit more research on me before she decides to comment on my reviews.

    Regardless of the genre, a novel shouldn't make use of old boring tropes without trying to apply any sort of originality to them. This read like a re-hash of every single bad teen movie I've ever seen. And, frankly, that's tiring. Even worse? It adds nothing new to the genre. Now, romcoms are very formulaic, but that's no excuse. (500) Days of Summer was a success because it added an extra dimension to Boy Meets Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Boy Gets Girl Back.

    Now, instead of getting upset at my criticism, I suggest that if V. wants to comment here again, she looks at the points I made and tries to debate those instead of getting in a huff over a book she rated five stars receiving negative criticism. Because, really, telling me that I don't know how to review is rather dim when she doesn't know how to have a proper debate.

    By the way, all of the books I referenced in this review are vastly superior contemporary romances. Also, I will never understand the "if you don't like it, don't read it argument," as I'm not a mind reader. I've read books and scripts I didn't expect to like (Legally Blonde) and I came away thoroughly impressed. So, no, that argument is not valid.

  • Simeon
    Oct 29, 2011

    This book is adorable, I’m not gonna lie.

    Wealthy white teenagers having first-world problems.

    Anna, the valiant, is plucked from Georgia and “abandoned” by her parents at a boarding school for rich American teens living in Paris, where she collapses into tears at the injustice of it all.

    Intrigued? That's only the beginning of this incredible tale.

    Sadly, my hopes for a dramatic twist of the

    variety came to naught as the entire novel progressed without a single gun fight, kidnapping, or car

    This book is adorable, I’m not gonna lie.

    Wealthy white teenagers having first-world problems.

    Anna, the valiant, is plucked from Georgia and “abandoned” by her parents at a boarding school for rich American teens living in Paris, where she collapses into tears at the injustice of it all.

    Intrigued? That's only the beginning of this incredible tale.

    Sadly, my hopes for a dramatic twist of the

    variety came to naught as the entire novel progressed without a single gun fight, kidnapping, or car chase, although at one point Anna's dream guy vomits on her.

    In fact, every plot twist for

    seems to have been lifted directly from

    .

    Chapter 1) Girl meets boy (the plot thickens).

    Chapter 2) Girl wants to order some delicious Parisian food, but does not speak French and is too embarrassed to ask for it in English even though everyone here speaks English.

    Chapter 3) French is like such a hard language.

    Chapter etc.) There’s some guy in Atlanta who wears skinny jeans below his bony arse, and she likes him soooooo much, but he doesn’t like her, and he screwed her best friend instead.

    Almost immediately after landing in Paris and commencing to wallow, Anna “falls in love” with literally the first male she encounters, mainly because of his hair, which I imagine looks something like this:

    If that weren’t enough, this irresistible man-creature of Anna's dreams also has an English accent, speaks French (omg omg omg), and is approximately five feet tall. Unfortunately though, he’s craven, and Anna’s a moron, so they spend the rest of the book awkwardly not touching each other’s genitals.

    Ah, the plights of the teenager...

    Seriously though, this book is cute, and unintentionally funny, and will make you feel well disposed towards the world.

    Excellent description of culture shock on return to America.

    The characters are adorable, but ultimately retarded.

    So much teen angst, so much crying, so much drama.

  • Zoë
    Jun 01, 2012

    Update after reading this book for the THIRD time:

    Etienne. ETIENNE. The boy of my dreams (well...second place after Will Herondale, but still, that's a high honor). Stephanie Perkins is one of my favorite YA contemporary writers as she has this way of writing books (which really sound SO cheesy plot and title-wise) that leaves you in a puddle of happy tears and hormones after the last page. This book has an inexplicable quality that even after reading the book multiple times, I can fall in love

    Update after reading this book for the THIRD time:

    Etienne. ETIENNE. The boy of my dreams (well...second place after Will Herondale, but still, that's a high honor). Stephanie Perkins is one of my favorite YA contemporary writers as she has this way of writing books (which really sound SO cheesy plot and title-wise) that leaves you in a puddle of happy tears and hormones after the last page. This book has an inexplicable quality that even after reading the book multiple times, I can fall in love with the characters again and again and it feels like the first time.

    ---

    The best romance book I've ever read! This read is not only completely and utterly adorable, it is incredibly relatable and witty. I love how Stephanie Perkins wrote each character and how all of the characters will tie together in her three books. I can't wait for Isla and the Happily Ever After to come out!

  • Lola  Reviewer
    Jan 19, 2014

    One lovely word:

    This story equals exactly: Friday night + rain outside + chick flick + Skittles + chocolate + popcorn + comfortable couch + lovely boyfriend/friends.

    .

    :

    - A main character that has personality

    - A swoon-worthy love interest

    - Some beautiful friendly relationships

    - Secondary characters that are truly unforgettable

    - A setting you won’t resist (it’s Paris, guys, PARIS!)

    - A

    One lovely word:

    This story equals exactly: Friday night + rain outside + chick flick + Skittles + chocolate + popcorn + comfortable couch + lovely boyfriend/friends.

    .

    :

    - A main character that has personality

    - A swoon-worthy love interest

    - Some beautiful friendly relationships

    - Secondary characters that are truly unforgettable

    - A setting you won’t resist (it’s Paris, guys, PARIS!)

    - A plot that doesn’t lack of originality

    - Lovely humour that makes a delightful atmosphere

    - A more than pleasant writing style that doesn’t do repetition

    - No moment of boredom!

    - A new favourite series to fangirl over…

    Such a relaxing and absolutely worth reading story. I’m very picky with my contemporaries, since I had so many bad experiences and try to learn from them and avoid subjects I don’t feel comfortable reading about such as raping, cheating, polygamy, etc. (Those were only examples, doesn’t mean the story contains all of them.) That’s why I waited so much before reading this. That, and the negative reviews.

    I first discovered it last year and heard that there is cheating in the story which made me wince a little. A lot, actually. At first, I didn’t want to even slightly touch it. But, at the same time, people cheating on others happens frequently in our society so, not

    those kind of situations

    made me realize that I get quite limited on books I ‘can’ read. So I got passed that. To be honest, the cheating in this book did not bother me that much because 1) it was realistic, 2) the guy was a dick and 3) means the girl concerned was then free of the guy in question! Of course, it isn’t pretty but it’s not that dramatic or taking many many pages.

    Except for that cheating situation I was referring to above, it’s really the kind of read that will make you smile and smile and smile some more, but also feel concerned when necessary because, even though it’s light overall, there are some scenes here and there that are more serious and sad, but not unbearably sad.

    Another thing that I really appreciated was the fact that I actually learned new information about authors especially. For example, I had no idea the author of

    ,

    , died in a plane crash! How awful but pertinent information to learn, in my opinion. (Anything concerning authors of classics is pertinent to my eyes.)

    Very recommended, especially to every YA contemporary romance fan out there. You may also enjoy

    .

  • Khanh (the meanie)
    Mar 31, 2014

    Oh, the fucking hypocrisy.

    There were many things I wanted to do to Anna Oliphant throughout this book. Some of them involve a bottle of choloroform, a shovel, and an unmarked grave.

    Oh, the fucking hypocrisy.

    There were many things I wanted to do to Anna Oliphant throughout this book. Some of them involve a bottle of choloroform, a shovel, and an unmarked grave.

    To be frank, Anna Oliphant is a motherfucking idiot.

    Yeah, I guess you could say this is a sweet romance, but it's not the good sort of sweet. It's the

    sort of sweet. It's sickening, and best in small doses, and I still feel like I need an internal cleanse after spreading the reading of this book over several days. The good thing about it is that this book isn't the

    , so there were no anal explosions. It wasn't the worst contemporary I've ever read, but this book was tremendously annoying and I simply do not understand the hype. I know many of people enjoyed it, and I can see why. Anna is the sort of character that

    , much like mildew, or

    . Once you get used to having it, it doesn't really bother you much anymore.

    I'm not opposed to romance. I love romance, but I read this book hoping to be

    . Instead, I was

    .

    :

    Anna is 17, and she is a moron. She is the epitome of the stupid, ignorant, egocentric American. For fuck's sakes, she thinks there are motherfucking mimes on every fucking corner in France.

    I'm sorry, but I'm inclined to judge anyone who doesn't know that

    is spelled o-u-i and not w-e-e. It's one of those foreign words that isn't even fucking foreign because it's so fucking common. Oui is yes in French. Si is yes in Spanish. It's one of those words that's so fucking commonly used that you have to be a complete birdbrain not to know!

    Anna is terrified of anything foreign, although to me, France really isn't that foreign or exotic, but I didn't grow up in Atlanta. Is Atlanta really that ass-fucking backward? Is Atlanta really completely isolated from the rest of the world, despite being one of the biggest cities in the US (Anna's words).

    Not only is she ignorant, she has no survival skills.

    Fucking everyone speaks English, the French teachers speak English. Anna is terrified of getting food in the cafeteria and avoids the cafeteria for weeks because she doesn't know how to order food.

    Let me tell you a brilliant way of ordering food, in any language.

    It's motherfucking universal.

    I hate to say it, but if you're a pretty girl, you can get anyone's help (most likely a guy, but often another girl, too) just by looking cute and helpless and tilting your head at an angle (guilty as charged). It ain't feminist, but it works when one is desperate, and the fact that

    doesn't bring her up in my estimation. I'm not judging Anna for being shy. Anna is not shy. I was a shy, shy teenager. Anna is incompetent. There is a difference between incompetency and shyness.

    After weeks and weeks of going to classes, of learning French...Anna doesn't know how to

    That's suppsed to be

    Her impression of Paris is one with like, blah blah Marie Antoinette and that really short dude, like, I think his name is Napoleon? You know, like, the one on the horse in that painting by that dude? And oh my god, the

    , and that cute little movie with the little girl in the yellow thingy! Madeline!

    And this is a chick who wants to be a film critic when she grows up.

    Although judging from the way she thinks, I think she's more suited to a career

    , the type with the sort of "PRESIDENT OBAMA CAUGHT IN INTERPLANETARY ORGY ALONG WITH PUTIN AND MERKEL" headline rather than as a

    :

    She even looks gorgeous when she falls flat on her fucking face!

    I've seen this before. And it ain't cute. Spare me the whole

    thing. I don't like Zooey Deschanel, and I don't like Anna. It just looks like she's trying too fucking hard, and the cute but oh-so-clumsy trope is just so fucking overplayed right now. I wash my hands of it.

    It's not blatant, but the relationships between the girls in this book are meant to portray

    Rashmi is "Rash." Cute. I don't think so. Mer is just a little chubby. Volleyball player chubby, but it's ok ^_^; Amanda the slut, Amanda the bitch. And Anna. Anna is just so good because you know,

    . It's not Mer's fault that she's not good enough for Etienne! And boy, Saint Anna keeps reminding us that she's a good person!

    And poor Ellie. Poor Ellie, Etienne's girlfriend. But surely,

    : That's the message that this book sends. Oh, that Ellie. That stupid, stuck up Ellie. Ellie who thinks she is better than everyone else. Surely it's fine if Etienne seeks comfort elsewhere if his girlfriend is a cold fish, a stuck up snot, right? No. I don't fucking think so. How about you break up with her FIRST?

    I do not appreciate the way this book sends the message that it's morally acceptable to cheat on a girlfriend who neglects you! But it's morally acceptable to cheat on her if you

    about it, right? Fuck this shit.

    : And yes, it is cheating. What do you call this?

    Ok. Etienne has a girlfriend, Ellie. Etienne holds hands with Anna. He is still with Ellie.

    You know why? Because you wouldn't like it if Etienne held hands with another girl if he was dating YOU.

    Friends don't sleep in each others' beds.

    And that boy has a girlfriend. And then you do it again. While he still has a girlfriend. While you have an almost-boyfriend.

    You make eye contact and blush at each other in a theatre. While he has a girlfriend.

    You kiss each other. While he has a girlfriend. While you have an almost-boyfriend.

    You flirt with each other. While he has a girlfriend. While you have an almost-boyfriend.

  • Barry Pierce
    Jul 17, 2014

    When I was four, I fell off a tree. I hit the ground face first. What I didn't know was that there was a very small, sharp root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree. It went through my cheek. I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night. I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek. When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having t

    When I was four, I fell off a tree. I hit the ground face first. What I didn't know was that there was a very small, sharp root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree. It went through my cheek. I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night. I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek. When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having to wait for an anesthetic. And he did. He sewed my cheek back together with no pain relief. I have never experienced pain like that again in my life. Until now. Anna and the French Kiss was more painful than that night in hospital. It is a lifeless, desolate, lump of a novel. Its only purpose in this world is as a gauge by which we measure bad novels. This is the bottom of the gauge and Twilight is at the top.

    Anna is the stupidest person I've ever come across in fiction. She is a self confessed film buff and hopes to one day become America's leading film critic. She obviously must know A LOT about film then eh? *sigh* She's a supposed film buff but yet knows nothing of Paris. PARIS. The home of fucking film. At one point in the novel she is genuinely SURPRISED that Paris has cinemas. FUCKING CINEMAS. How can she be so incredibly ignorant of the place where film was fucking invented and know literally nothing of French cinema BUT YET call herself a fan of film? Ridiculous. She eventually actually goes to the cinema a couple of times but lo and behold what does she watch? American films. She in the home of film and she watches

    . I can't deal with this girl.

    Oh but let us for one second talk about the love interest. Mr. My Name Is So French It's Borderline Racist Étienne St. Clair. He is literally every "male love interest" YA cliche rolled into one festering tumour of a character. He's American BUT has a British accent, he has messy hair BUT his room is meticulously clean, he's book smart, smells nice and is probably the Second Coming of Christ. He is UNBEARABLE. He's like Augustus Water but this guy doesn't have the common courtesy to die at the end. How rude.

    I hated everything about this novel. It felt unresearched, rushed, and in places, dumbed-down. It is written in a style that I can only describe as "unemployed Sex and the City screen writer". I wish this novel came with a warning, "Keep out of reach of children, and teenagers, and adults, dogs, garden gnomes, your grandmother, school janitors, priests, gibbons, and especially anybody who lives in Paris because this novel is an insult to their city".

    I'll finish with a quote from one of my favourite film critics Roger Ebert (who gets a mention in this novel and I'm pretty sure he's turning in his grave because of it). I'll manipulate the quote a bit but the sentiment still prevails.

    "This book doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This book isn't the bottom of the barrel. This book isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This book doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

  • Lily C
    Apr 08, 2017

    No thanks..

    Watch my full review here:


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