New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

New Moon

There is an alternate cover edition for this ISBN13 here. I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect - n...

Title:New Moon
Author:
Rating:
ISBN:0316160199
Edition Language:English
Number of Pages:563 pages

New Moon Reviews

  • Denys L.H.

    You may have heard me rant about the previous novel Twilight. I decided to read the sequel, just to see if it will get better.

    Boy, was I wrong.

    First off, we began with Bella Swan bitching about how old she's getting, because Edward stays 17 forever, and since her birthday is coming up, she'll be one year older than her perfect lover. Um... older than him? Looks-wise, yes, but these dumbasses don't realize is that he's 100 YEARS OLDER THAN HER! WHAT THE HELL IS HE EVEN DOING IN HIGH SCHOOL IN THE

    You may have heard me rant about the previous novel Twilight. I decided to read the sequel, just to see if it will get better.

    Boy, was I wrong.

    First off, we began with Bella Swan bitching about how old she's getting, because Edward stays 17 forever, and since her birthday is coming up, she'll be one year older than her perfect lover. Um... older than him? Looks-wise, yes, but these dumbasses don't realize is that he's 100 YEARS OLDER THAN HER! WHAT THE HELL IS HE EVEN DOING IN HIGH SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE? What really makes me annoyed with this couple was the fact they were comparing their relationship with Romeo and Juliet. It's nowhere even close to that because you two have no reason for loving each other! (On a side note, Romeo and Juliet have no reason for loving each other, but they had a lesson in the story. They die anyways)

    Anyways, they have a party and things get a little out of control when Bella cuts herself (unintentionally) and Jasper can't control his vampire needs. Edward realizes he needs to protect Bella, and in order to do that, he must go away with his family. In order to pull an irritating fan girlfriend off your back is to hurt them really badly. And that's what he does.

    Bella decides that without Edward, she has no reason to live anymore, even though she unexplainably can hear him inside her mind. What a baby. Luckily, Jacob saves her from attempted suicide as I'm guessing, and starts hanging out with her. At this point in the story, I'm starting to hate Jacob a little less and begun to eventually like him, because he's more of an original character than Edward. He makes mistakes, unlike Edward. He has more of a potential and realistic relationship with Bella. To top it all off, he's a werewolf and vampires so happen to be his worst enemy.

    However, things start to get more complicated in the story. When Bella figured out Edward was going to Italy to ask this vampire family to kill him because he thought Bella is dead from some misinterpretation. Being the piss off as she is, she immediately pushes Jacob aside and her developing feelings and travels to Italy to stop Edward. In the end, they're together. They don't need anyone else, only each other to survive. Fucking lunatics.

    I hate Edward now. He's just too unoriginal for me. Fan girls (including Bella) only love him because he's the hottest thing since ipods. They love an image of their boy dreams, but they hate the character that's actually more human than Edward, the sex god? What's the world coming to these days? I swear Jacob needs to get out of that retarded novel before Stephanie Meyer comes up with a way to make everyone have a reason to hate him. Good job, babe, good job.

  • Amanda

    Keep in mind that though this review is about to wheel off into an angry rant, this book is good. The series is addictive. And as I said previously about Stephanie Meyer, if you want to cease brain function for a few hours, she's your girl.

    The beginning is slow, the middle is gold, the end is lacking. The blank pages to represent months passed in zombie-depression, great idea.

    Now, my problem. My problem is not so much with the story as it is perhaps with the idea behind the story and thus, the a

    Keep in mind that though this review is about to wheel off into an angry rant, this book is good. The series is addictive. And as I said previously about Stephanie Meyer, if you want to cease brain function for a few hours, she's your girl.

    The beginning is slow, the middle is gold, the end is lacking. The blank pages to represent months passed in zombie-depression, great idea.

    Now, my problem. My problem is not so much with the story as it is perhaps with the idea behind the story and thus, the author herself.

    It all starts with Romeo and Juliet. Stupid kids. Yes, yes, the great tragedy of love. Please note the word tragedy came before the word love. Because without the tragedy there would be no story. What would the story be otherwise? I'm not going to presume to rewrite Shakespeare (at least not for the hypothetical purposes of illustrating a point in this review).

    I will say, that I find it sad and unfortunate that Meyers insists on her characters not only admiring Romeo and Juliet (not the play, but the hormone-addled teenagers who committed suicide rather than take a minute to think it through), but specifically referencing the star-crossed lovers in near direct comparison to her protagonist and the lover-vamp. (Her main character also can be caught reading Jane Austen, but more on that later).

    My point? Impossible love is a great story. No doubt. And Meyer's characters, the human girl and the vampire (um, Buffy and Angel anyone?) are certainly in an impossible situation. Great, perfect, wonderful.

    The difficulty? No where to go. That's what makes Romeo and Juliet a tragedy. That's why Buffy and Angel never got back together. What choices has she left us? Either the human becomes a vampire or the vampire (in what would be a HUGE cheat) becomes human again. So? Make the human a vamp, right? Problem solved. Well, despite the flippancy with which so many of Meyer's characters approach this option, to do so would be a tragedy of sorts. Because in effect, it would be suicide, a life ended to be with the man she loves so senselessly that it makes you wonder how she could admire Jane Austen at all.

    Yes, Jane Austen writes about love, but take a look at "Sense and Sensibility". Jane Austen recognizes that love is more complex than the simple lust of it (while Romeo and Juliet barely get a chance to blink before they marry, screw and die-much like the carrion flies Romeo references. . .) Strength of character, not the sweaty passion, conquers all. Clear conscience and unerring moral fortitude conquers class-differences, social stigmas and familial disapproval. And so, they all get to live happily ever after.

    This is your dilemma Stephanie Meyers. You've laid the groundwork, not for a Jane Austen like happy-ending despite the odds, but a Shakespearian tragedy that will not only leave the audience sobbing, but foaming mad. Frankly, the readers of today don't want a tragedy (for the most part), they get that enough every day. They want the happy ending. I want the happy ending and what would that be in this situation?

    As far as I can see there is no way to have a true happy ending. Either you make a living girl a vampire. Or you pull out the deus ex machina and make the vampire a human. Neither option will be unsullied enough to be fully satisfactory.

    Personally, I would rather see the girl become a vampire, though I wish the character would take it a little more seriously than she has. Because my sense of fairness would be violated if the vamp miraculously becomes a human. But no matter how it ends, I fear I will be disappointed, as the endings of both books have been so thoroughly let-downs I cannot imagine the author has it in her mind to tack a new course at this point.

    How do I have the audacity to be so critical? Have I written a New York Times Bestseller? Two, three?

    Not yet.

  • Paul Bryant

    When she was 12 me and my daughter Georgia went to see Twilight. After the movie I asked her what she thought.

    "THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER" she said. And she went to see it three more times, with people other than me.

    So she bought the book and read it in about four hours. I asked her what she thought.

    "THAT WAS THE BEST BOOK EVER" she said.

    Then we got the dvd of the movie and she watched it again.

    "THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVER" she said. I was surprised but she explained - "Bella is stupid, Edwa

    When she was 12 me and my daughter Georgia went to see Twilight. After the movie I asked her what she thought.

    "THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER" she said. And she went to see it three more times, with people other than me.

    So she bought the book and read it in about four hours. I asked her what she thought.

    "THAT WAS THE BEST BOOK EVER" she said.

    Then we got the dvd of the movie and she watched it again.

    "THAT WAS THE WORST MOVIE EVER" she said. I was surprised but she explained - "Bella is stupid, Edward is stupid, nothing looks right, they miss out all the important stuff, it's so bad, it's so so so bad"

    Then she read all the other Twilight books in like four hours.

    "NEW MOON IS THE WORST BOOK EVER FOR 200 PAGES AND THEN IT'S THE BEST BOOK EVER" she said. By now she was 13.

    A week ago she said

    "NEW MOON IS COMING OUT SOON, I'M SO EXCITED, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT, CAN WE GO ON THE VERY FIRST DAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

    and I said "But you think Twilight The Movie is stupid".

    "Yes, it is stupid" she said "and I can't WAIT to see how bad New Moon is!"

    Critics.

    ***

    ps : Now (aged 13) she's going to see the new Robert Pattinson movie Remember Me. I assume that's because he's so

    and such a

  • Kiki

    Dear Ms. Meyer,

    Yours painfully (or some other adverb)

    The Society Of Of People Opposed To Douchebags And Their Disciples (T.S.O.P.O.T.D.A.T.D)

  • Haleema

    This should suffice.

  • Steph Sinclair

    Stephen King once said, "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

    I couldn't agree more, Stephen. With that, we shall kick this off with a joke:

    Heh.

    This re-reading is brought to you courtesy of

    .

    I'm sorry folks. I just could not get through this

    book another time. However, since I've already read it a few times, I feel extremely confident in skipping to the review. But first, can someone please explain to me why this book is 563 pages?! Seriously

    Stephen King once said, "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

    I couldn't agree more, Stephen. With that, we shall kick this off with a joke:

    Heh.

    This re-reading is brought to you courtesy of

    .

    I'm sorry folks. I just could not get through this

    book another time. However, since I've already read it a few times, I feel extremely confident in skipping to the review. But first, can someone please explain to me why this book is 563 pages?! Seriously, how is it possible a book with almost no plot can be so long? When I first read

    back in 2008, I didn't like it. In fact I'm not even sure why it had three stars because I remember being super frustrated. Even though Edward and Bella's relationship deeply disturbs my soul, Bella is so incredibly boring without him. I'm not even sure how Stephenie Meyer managed 563 pages. Truly, I'm amazed because I can sum up

    in one big picture:

    But let's get on with it, I'll go into some detail for ya.

    The book starts off on Bella's 18th birthday, a day she has been dreading for months only because in her mind she will be one year older than Edward. So, she makes a huge production about people not celebrating her birthday, but the Cullens ignore her and Alice plans a party. Before Edward forces her to attend they watch Romeo and Juliet (the book's supposed theme) and they have merry little conversation about Edward's contingency plans once Bella dies. Now, let's not forget they've only been dating for a few months. Yet, here they are making out and talking about killing themselves in the event of the other's death. How romantic. Don't even ask me the logic behind how they can even kiss when his teeth are supposed to be "venom coated." Stephenie Meyer gives some bull shit excuse she must have learned from ass-grab 101. But I digress...

    Finally, they make it to the birthday party. Bella gets a paper cut and Jasper almost single-handedly ends this series on page 29.

    Unfortunately, to my dismay his attempt was foiled by Edward. Eddie pushes Bella out the way and she crashes into the glass plates, slashing up her arm. Pause, let's think about that scene a bit: Who's bright idea was it to have glass plates? With a human. In a room full of vampires. That drink blood. Isn't Alice psychic? Why didn't she

    Bella cutting her finger on the wrapping paper? Wait, don't think about that because if you spend all your time contemplating the stupidity, we'll never get through this review.

    Obviously, Eddie is not happy with the events that went down at his place and Bella further irritates him by apologizing for...wait for it...being human. Bella, you know you've been hanging out with mythical creatures too much when you start thinking your humanity isn't normal. But anyway, Eddie does what any loving boyfriend would do after their girlfriend is attack by their brother: he ignores her. And because Eddie is "Alpha Male Edward" and Bella is "Submissive Mary Sue Bella," she doesn't confront him about it. Instead, she waits for him to be ready. On the third day of ignoring her, he drags he into the words and chucks up the deuces. The exchange goes a little like this:

    Alpha Male Edward tells Submissive Mary Sue Bella firmly, "No, I don't want you to come. You're no good for me." And she pretty much agrees realizing how much of a waste of space she is. Then Edward just pours salt all over her open wound and tells her:

    Wow. Relly? You're just going to let him order you around like that? How about you look after yourself FOR YOU first, everyone else second? Awesome Bells. Can I call you Bells? Not only do you have ZERO self-preservation skills, but also no self-confidence. Just awesome. There's only about a million or so girls looking up to you as a role model. No pressure to be a strong female character. You could have walked away from this with grace, but no, instead all your dignity flies out the window when you pull a bitch move and run after Edward through the woods.

    Then, she defaults back to "Fuck my life" mode and slips into a depression for four fucking months. I find it kind of funny her depression was longer than their actual relationship. Heh. But this wasn't just any depression, it was some serious shit.

    Or how about this:

    Once again I find myself asking the question: Where are her parents?! Why did Charlie let this go on for

    months?! She should have been in counseling or something. But Meyer thinks she can just pacify readers by Renee sending a random e-mail here and there or Charlie just suggesting she seek help, only to be shot down by Bella. Fail. So much fail.

    All that considered, that's not even the biggest problem I have with this book. Bella soon figures out she can conjure up hallucinations of Edward if she does something reckless or suicidal. This is where Jake comes into play. Bella uses Jake (like everyone else) to get what she wants by asking him to fix up two motorcycles she found and giving her riding lessons. She figures it will be the perfect thing to help her see more of Edward. I suppose she simply forgot how big of a klutz she is and once the bikes are fixed the lessons commence. The first time she gets on she falls off and Jake (the only one with common sense) thinks they should call it a day before she gets hurt. But Bella thinks this is BK and she can have it her way, and gets back on the bike.

    Chick has gone batshit crazy and she promptly busts her ass. But she doesn't care because her mission was a success! She got to see and hear Edward! Her next brilliant idea is to throw herself off a cliff during high tide. The first time I read this I was secretly hoping she would drown, but the other two books already were published, so it was a hopeless wish. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the actual plot. LOL.

    how that happens when there isn't one, huh? LOL. The She-vamp, Victoria, is scoping out the area trying to get to Bella. But her part is VERY small in this book (like the plot), so we don't really need to talk about her. I suppose the wolf pack is worth mentioning: They're pretty much a bunch of wannabe werewolves that run around with their shirts off.

    That's all you really need to know about them.

    So, finally Alice shows up in chapter 18 because she thought Bella was trying to commit suicide (close enough Alice). And through a nice little exchange of "he said, she said" BS, Edward is off to Italy to kill himself. This causes Bella to go into "hero" mode and race to Italy and save Edward. I really don't care enough to give my thoughts on the race to Italy. That entire part was rushed and anti-climatic. There isn't even a fight scene. Instead here is a timeline courtesy of

    (Thanks for the link Cait and Jen!):

    Anyway, they get back to good old Forks and Bella composes a vote on everyone's thoughts of her joining team undead. Edward is at a steady "no" along with Rosalie. But everyone else says, "Hell yes!" Like becoming a vampire is a party or something. Funny thing is when Bella asks Jasper he goes:

    And she's all:

    Hmm, yeah, that's not weird at all. Not the least bit creepy.

    In the last few pages Edward and Jake have a little pissing contest and Edward proposes to Bella. The End. Yawn. Thank God it's over.

    Now where's my fuckin' chocolate?

    My Twilight Review can be found

    .

    Oh, yeah, bonus time. 'Cause what's a review without one?

    Quick! If I were to light Edward on fire what would he become?

    More reviews and more at

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